


Coming Out

by TeamFreeWill12



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Kind of a chick flick moment, M/M, but not really, feelings and whatnot, heart to heart, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 17:14:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamFreeWill12/pseuds/TeamFreeWill12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam has just caught Dean in a compromising position with a certain former Angel of the Lord. Sam has said nothing about it, because frankly, he's ok with the situation, even if his brother is not. Now Dean has come to his little brother, to set things straight...so to speak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Out

“I’m not gay.”

Sam looked over at his brother, who had been nervously hovering over the table in the bunker library for several minutes. Sam had been trying to pretend he wasn’t there, waiting for Dean to break the silence and speak.

He was about to crack a joke, but he looked up and saw that his brother’s face was tight, his eyes big and worried. He looked _scared_. Sam wouldn’t feel good about a joke made now, so he decided to play it cool. After what he’d witnessed in the kitchen the night before, he could completely understand his older brother’s behavior today.

“Didn’t say you were, Dean.” He didn’t even look up from the book he was pretending to read.

That apparently wasn’t the answer Dean was expecting, so he floundered a bit. ”Ok, what then?”

Sam sighed and turned his attention away from the book. “I dunno, Dean. Isn’t this where I say something touchy feely and then you come back with a rejoinder about doing our nails and having pillow fights? Isn’t that how this goes?”

His brother refused to meet his gaze. He just kept silent, his eyes directed at the ceiling. _Holy shit._ _He actually wants to talk about this._ There wasn’t enough time for him to be amazed, so he just rolled on. “It doesn’t have anything to do with being gay.”

Dean looked like he was about to hurt himself with all the thinking he was doing. “It …doesn’t?”

Sam would’ve laughed at the Cas-like look on his brother’s face, but Dean was touchy on the subject of feelings at the best of times, and this was entirely too important to joke about. Just now, anyway.

“No, Dean,” he explained patiently. “It’s _Cas.”_

“Yeah? And Cas is a dude,” Dean returned.

“No, Dean, Cas is _in_ a dude.”

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “And how exactly is this _not_ a gay thing, Sam?”

Sam exhaled through his nose. “What I’m saying is, Cas is—was—a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent who just happens to be stuck in a male container.”

“Yeah, _forever_ stuck.”

Sometimes he just wanted to strangle his brother. He raked his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I get that. Ok, yeah. For all intents and purposes, Cas is a guy…with all the trappings. _But…_ ”

Dean made a face. _Here it comes._ “But what, Sam? Are you about to grow a vagina? Do I have time to go on a tampon run before you get to your point?

“ _Dean._ ”

“Fuck, Sammy, what do you want me to say?”

The little brother stood up to school his big brother. “Actually, it would be nice if you would stop snarking to cover up your insecurity and shut the hell up for five seconds.”

The older brother didn’t quail, didn’t shrink away. He just clammed up and sat down, his hands in his lap.

That’s when Sam knew just how much of a big deal this was.

“Let me ask you a question. Would you be freaking out over this situation if Cas was stuck in a female vessel, if he’d popped into, say, Jimmy Novak’s sister, instead of him?”

Dean appeared to give the question some serious thought. “Probably not. I probably would’ve tried to bone her earlier and she would be dead or long gone by now.”

“Fair point,” Sam allowed.

 “Especially if she ended up looking like Zooey Deschanel,” Dean went on with a bit of a goofy grin on his lips and a tiny gleam in his eye.

“Dean. Focus.” Sam snapped his fingers.

“Right. Sorry.”

“ _Anyway_ , since Cas chose Jimmy to wear, the _physical_ attraction wasn’t a problem at the beginning, right? He was just some dick with wings trying to get you to fall in with the whole destiny thing, right?”

Dean nodded slightly. “Right.”

“And then he stopped being such a stick-up-the-ass dick and you got to know Cas, the angel inside the vessel and you became friends, best friends, right?”

Sam waited for his brother to respond.

“I’m not changing the channel.”

“And _because_ he wasn’t a hot, bangable chick, you got to know him, got as close to him as you are to me, but in that weird profound bond way of yours.”

Silence.

“That multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent pulled you out of Hell and _rebuilt_ you, man.” He tapped Dean’s shoulder that still bore the faint scar in the shape of a handprint. “And I think there is a part of him that’s been with you this whole time that’s helped that bond strengthen over time.”

He sat down in the chair across from his brother and thought about just how much he admired  and looked up to him, even still. “You and I, Dean…All the crap we’ve been through together, Yellow Eyes, the Apocalypse, all of that strengthened the bond between us. The same could be said about you and Cas.”

Lost halfway between the Past and the Present, Dean looked at his little brother, his confused emotions swirling in his eyes. “What are you trying to say, Sam?”

Good. He was listening. “It doesn’t really matter what form he takes. If he was in a female vessel, or Jimmy, or even a glowy ball of light, it would still be _Cas_ you love like family. It would still be _Cas_ you’re freaking out over.

“I know you’re scared, Dean.” He leaned forward, looking at his brother who wouldn’t look at him. “It’s scary because it’s completely different from Cassie, completely different from Lisa. It’s scary because you _know_ it’s different because it’s Cas. A fallen angel who’s been grounded and now has to learn to deal…with everything. It’s scary because he can’t blip out when things get tough. You’re scared he’ll leave, scared he’ll stay. And I know you, man. I know how little you think of yourself—” He held up a hand when Dean started to speak. “That is a whole conversation for another time. All I’ll say is…”   Sam sighed, rubbing his chin. “Cas has seen you at your worst and he’s still here. You’ve seen him at _his_ worst and you can’t back off either.”

Green eyes stared into hazel, filled with so much, unwilling to let any of it out.

“Don’t let the fact that he was once an angel deter you. Don’t let the fact that he’s now _human_ deter you. It’s still Cas, just sans mojo.”

“But what if he gets his mojo back?” It was said so softly, Sam almost didn’t hear.

“That’s a bridge you guys will have to cross together.” Sam knew there was a possibility, small as it was, that Cas could get his Grace back.  “But Dean, he pulled you out of Hell, rebelled against Heaven for you, stayed away from you in Purgatory to keep you safe. He died for _you_ , died for _us_ more than once. I think it’s safe to say you’ll be involved in that conversation.”

Silence hung between the two of them while Dean ran his fingers over the edge of the table. “But what about—?”

“Dean. Stop. Look at me.” He waited until his brother complied. “It’s only natural to want to be closer to a person you care very _deeply_ about, to want to maybe be _intimate_ with that person.” He held up his hand again when his brother’s cheeks reddened and started to speak. “Nope. No details. Look. You’re obviously attracted to women, right?”

Dean nodded.

“Are you attracted to guys?”

Dean cleared his throat. “N-no. Just Cas—”

“Ok, see, now what I’m hearing, what I know, and from what I’ve…seen…” Sam blinked, remembering the many times he’d walked in on his brother in one motel room or another. “You aren’t one hundred percent hetero, but since the ‘guy’ in question is Cas, I don’t know that the label ‘bisexual’ would necessarily apply to you. I just think that you’re _angel-_ sexual, or specifically, _Cas_ -sexual.”

Dean responded with a bitchface he must have learned from Sam. “Not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny, Dean. I’m just trying to show you that there’s a difference here. I understand that to the outside world this whole” he waved his hand “thing could be considered ‘gay,’ that _you_ could be considered ‘gay.’ But as long as the people closest to you know the truth, then the outside world shouldn’t matter. It’s none of anyone’s business whose hand you hold in public, who you play Lady and the Tramp with over a spaghetti dinner. Just relax and be happy that you’re both alive to enjoy one another.

“And as for me,” he said, standing and pushing his chair into the table, getting ready to leave his brother with his thoughts, “As long as you’re happy, I am happy _for_ you. If that changes, I’ll either have an older brother to kick in the ass or a millenniums old fallen angel to deal with. But you guys _fit_. Even if it’s rough going at first…” He sighed, trying to find the right words. “To quote some random movie I watched a billion years ago on some crappy motel tv late at night, you two are retarded for each other. Don’t be stupid.”

Looking down at his brother, Sam saw some of the stress had melted away from his shoulders. “What? Nothing to say?”

Swallowing hard, Dean looked up at his little brother. “Where’d you get your degree, Dr. Phil?” His voice was dry and scratchy, but Sam knew he was trying for a lighter tone, but it wasn’t quite working yet.

Sam shrugged. “What can I say? I’ve got Ph.D.s in Dean Winchesterology and Interspecies Dating.” He turned and headed for the hall. “Oh, and don’t forget. You’re gonna need lube. Buckets of it,” he called over his shoulder.

He grinned when the reply came.

“Bitch!”

“Jerk,” he replied softly, extremely pleased to have been able to help his brother through his big, gay crisis.


End file.
